I heard back from another school today. No word on funding, but I'm definitely in. Unfortunately, their prospective student weekend falls during my spring break, which I already had plans for. OldRoommate and I hadn't finalized our travel plans, though, and she was very understanding about my having to prioritize the admit weekend, so we've rescheduled our vacation. I can't bring myself to make arrangements to visit Super Sunny U until I hear about the money. Things are tight right now (when aren't they?) and I can't afford to make reservations for what might not pan out.
I'm happy. It hasn't quite hit me yet, that one of the top programs in my discipline accepted me. My other acceptance came from a place that has a solid reputation in general, but is exceptional in my field. SSU is stellar all-around. I feel accomplished. Pleased. God knows what it'd do for my relationship wth Feisty Boy if I decided to go there, though. Not only is it clear across the country from him, but he hates the city it is in.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Third attempt
Third time *better* be a charm. It's funny that in my time away from this (granted, very incipient) blog, I've become an even more avid blog reader than before. And every time I get inspired by a post, I tell myself "Damn, I should resurrect my blog," but the idea of starting over always seems too daunting. So here I am, facing my fears and whatnot.
I've been incredibly productive since the summer. My summer research ended up going extremely well, despite the rough start. The summer in general was fabulous: chill enough that I didn't feel overwhelmed, but I managed to do everything I wanted to do. Which, of course, should have been a sign that I was about to embark on the Semester of Pure Hell.
It didn't feel that bad while it was underway, but reflecting back on it, I don't know how I survived. What I have to show for it? A finished thesis that I'm exceedingly proud of and a good command of my newest foreign language. And, as of last week, my first acceptance, with full funding, to a Ph.D. program.
Maybe I should be elated, but I mostly feel relieved. The program is not my top choice, but it's a good fit and I would be happy to go there. But mainly, it just feels good to know that I *am* going somewhere, that I can plan to spend the next 6+ years of my life in grad school. I'm a planner; I don't deal well with uncertainty, because it doesn't allow me to map out my plans.
Going to the program that has accepted me would mean staying on This Coast, where Feisty Boy and most of my friends are. My top choice is on the Other Choice; my current acceptance hovers somewhere between my second and third choice. In many ways, my life would be radically different depending on what program I choose. I've never had to make that kind of life-altering decision with such little control over the circumstances--I have felt so impotent since submitting my applications.
While I wait for decisions to come in, I spend my time drafting budgets and researching costs of living and moving options for all of the five cities I could poentially end up in (although, after having received this offer, it's most unlikely I'll chose to go to my fourth and fifth choices). My work is suffering for it, but I can't help it.
Yes, I have control issues.
I've been incredibly productive since the summer. My summer research ended up going extremely well, despite the rough start. The summer in general was fabulous: chill enough that I didn't feel overwhelmed, but I managed to do everything I wanted to do. Which, of course, should have been a sign that I was about to embark on the Semester of Pure Hell.
It didn't feel that bad while it was underway, but reflecting back on it, I don't know how I survived. What I have to show for it? A finished thesis that I'm exceedingly proud of and a good command of my newest foreign language. And, as of last week, my first acceptance, with full funding, to a Ph.D. program.
Maybe I should be elated, but I mostly feel relieved. The program is not my top choice, but it's a good fit and I would be happy to go there. But mainly, it just feels good to know that I *am* going somewhere, that I can plan to spend the next 6+ years of my life in grad school. I'm a planner; I don't deal well with uncertainty, because it doesn't allow me to map out my plans.
Going to the program that has accepted me would mean staying on This Coast, where Feisty Boy and most of my friends are. My top choice is on the Other Choice; my current acceptance hovers somewhere between my second and third choice. In many ways, my life would be radically different depending on what program I choose. I've never had to make that kind of life-altering decision with such little control over the circumstances--I have felt so impotent since submitting my applications.
While I wait for decisions to come in, I spend my time drafting budgets and researching costs of living and moving options for all of the five cities I could poentially end up in (although, after having received this offer, it's most unlikely I'll chose to go to my fourth and fifth choices). My work is suffering for it, but I can't help it.
Yes, I have control issues.
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